Many people come to therapy because they feel anxious, overwhelmed, stuck, or dissatisfied with their relationships, yet cannot fully understand why. They may have spent years striving to meet other people’s expectations, putting others first, or feeling that no matter what they achieve, they are somehow not enough.
Often these patterns begin in childhood. When a child grows up in an environment where there is chronic criticism, emotional neglect, inconsistency, or a lack of emotional safety, they adapt in order to cope. These adaptations can be essential for survival at the time, but they may continue long into adulthood, shaping how we think, feel, and relate to ourselves and others.
Developmental trauma is not always the result of obvious abuse or major life events. Sometimes it arises from what was missing rather than what happened: emotional attunement, validation, encouragement, protection, or the sense of being truly seen and understood.The impact can show up in many ways:
• Chronic self-criticism
• Perfectionism and fear of failure
• People-pleasing and difficulty saying no
• Difficulty setting healthy boundaries
• Anxiety, shame, or feelings of inadequacy
• Struggles with trust, intimacy, and relationships
• Feeling disconnected from yourself or uncertain who you really are
I have a particular interest in helping people understand and heal the effects of developmental and relational trauma. Therapy provides an opportunity to explore the origins of these patterns with compassion rather than judgement, helping you move beyond survival strategies and develop a stronger sense of self-worth, agency, and emotional freedom.
Healing does not mean changing who you are. It means recognising the adaptations that once protected you, understanding whether they still serve you, and creating space for new ways of relating to yourself and others.